Last month of the year already!

I won’t do that old thing of where did the time go? How can it be December already? Oh whoops I guess I just did.

You guys know by now that I am not a big lover of all the hoopla for Christmas. It stresses me out – I have a huge lover of the season at home with my hubby – so I am grateful to him as he takes care of a lot of things – but he also raises the kids expectations to exponential levels that also stress me out – so I guess December is a lot of feeling stressed out with twinkling lights.

Plop a blob of whipped cream on top of all the other stresses we all have going on and it’s gonna be a party. So I appreciate the sentiment of finding the sanity in this picture more than I realize (thank you past Caroline for knowing what I needed).

My pet is sitting here with me now – angled in such a way that I cannot help but pet her. This is Willow – she is a black and white cat, with wide surprised eyes and a tail about 3 inches long (no idea why). Willow was a welcome gift for us when we bought our first house here in the Cowichan Valley. The previous owners couldn’t take her with them and were trying to find her to take her to the SPCA (it is common for cats to run off for a bit when houses are packing up and moving). Willow came to the back door very early in the evening of our first night there. She claimed me straight away – jumped on my lap, curled up and slept there.

“What if we did keep her?” I asked Jay

“What do you mean if? We now have a cat.” Was Jay’s response.

And have a cat we did – through all of this crazy living we have done since we moved here – Willow has been with us. Hiding out when the kids got crazy and quietly coming to bed for snuggles once things had calmed down. She is the BEST cat I have ever known. Never a sulker – she just comes for loving when she can tell you have time – she demands nothing from me (the only member of our household who is low maintenance – including me).

Willow is getting on in years – she’s an 88 year old woman. She’s still got her looks, but her jump is a little short these days and she needs help on the bed. She also get’s a little lost in the house and mews like a bad opera singer at times to find out where we are, but she’s still going strong.

She is watching every keyboard tap I make here. She has been my companion all through this pandemic – once I sit down she comes to me – from wherever she was in the house. I don’t know that I consciously realized how much she anchors me until I made this picture – the picture came first – then the words. The words now remind me to take time to pet – to enjoy the pet process – to try and hold the act more mindfully, so that it anchors me more. Willow is so much more than cleaning out the litter and does she have enough food?

I have been needing the anchors a lot more this year – have you?

I have been consciously searching, and naming them. They are much more important these days. If things rocked my boat I used to wait them out – I used to wait for calm to be calm. I can’t do that anymore – the calm hasn’t come for such a long time. It has been a constant wind storm that I need to call the anchors in. So I pet the cat longer, I work harder to find and capture the funny, I drink the tea a little stiller, I doodle with more intention, I write with a considered determination. I need these things to function better – to bring me closer to a manageable calm, as best I can.

I fail – and I have failed more often than I would have liked this year. I have allowed myself to spiral, I have sweated the big and the small stuff, I have ignored a lot of my own advice from week to week. Yet on the days I can catch myself – before that wind blows me too far out to sea – I hear a strong purr – I spy those hilarious eyes and I pet my sweet Willow, breathing in time with her.

Wishing you all intentional anchor finding this month, whatever it may be. Small things are the best things – something accessible and daily – to help weather these storms.

Sending purrs and hugs and big strong anchors to you all.

Thank you for joining me on this fingers crossed journey.

I look forward to seeing a lot of you again next year as we look at that wisdom, those inevitable wobbles and of course everything inbetween.

Hugs