Ahh this month is a really fun one – no dark emotional wranglings this time I promise.
See I can be fun Caz, well sometimes.
This month we get to think about playing and connecting with the things that make us all giddy and goosebumpy inside.
What turns you on creatively, what do you connect to, what is pulling you at the moment?
This isn’t indulgence over work – this is fuel for the work. We need to be thinking about this all year, but a month's focus will get you into good practice. You know me by now, I am not asking you to spend big money, travel to the ends of the earth (although I do have a travel bucket list) ..you can find these things that make you sing in your everydays or at least your weekends. Plan a workshop, a coffee with an acquaintance who inspires you, a new book – a library book. Even google “pretty blues” – it honestly doesn’t matter how big or how small – it just matters that you start the process and fill your well again…top it up regularly rather than letting it run dry with burn out.
So now I want to let you into a little Cazza secret, as it might help you with this practice, especially if you struggle with the guilt or the trap of too busy. I want to talk about birthdays.
Now stay with me.
Unless you have one of those extra special effort birthdays – adult birthdays can kind of suck.
DO you remember when you were a child and how special your birthday would feel?
Even if it was a school day it felt different – lighter – like everyone was a part of and in on your special day.
Fast forward (cough, splutter) how ever many years and it is impossible to capture that kind of childlike, birthday magic.
You probably still have appointments, responsibilities, work loads, deadlines and bills.
Life still chugs on and within that space you try to feel different, to feel lighter, but sometimes the push of “special” can make it even harder – this is my ONE day you say – shouldn't it feel more?
Hmmmm but what if it wasn’t your one day?
What if I gave you permission for another very special day in the year?
A day I like to call fake birthday day!
Birthdays can be whatever – but imagine how it would feel if you knew you had another special day tucked in your pocket still to come – what if you celebrated “Fake Birthday”?
Fake birthdays are amazing!
For one thing you get to choose the date – you can even decide last minute.
“Oh wait hang on it’s my fake birthday day”.
If you spy a day in the future that looks like it could have fake birthday potential simply declare it.
Now what makes a good fake birthday? Here are some of my tips.
I take a day that already looks pretty nice. Maybe I have some booked time alone somehow or have a little workshop planned. Something that is already in line with what I would love a nice birthday to look like.
I don’t really tell anyone (obviously – because it sounds mental) – but it is my little secret. I don't involve anyone too much as it really gives you the space to do what you want to do without any justification. Your real birthday is kind of a public space, people are involved with their ideas of what you would like - this one is just you in complete charge! So maybe after a nice lunch you take a different walk in a park, stop into a bookstore you wouldn’t normally go into, go to a favourite spot, read a book somewhere quiet. What ever it is, add a little more to an already lovely day. Sure you still have to do some life stuff – but it isn’t your birthday so you're not as frustrated by life stuff…because this is your secret day that you are just squishing some really good fun into.
And my last rule of thumb?
Sure I gave you permission for one fake birthday, but once you get a feel for them maybe you’ll let yourself have a couple of fake birthdays a year. The best thing is these ones don’t age you! They probably even make you stay a little younger, because they allow you to leave the guilt packed away for doing something you enjoy.
I know right!
So this month take a fake birthday – even if it's your real birthday - to help top up that well of yours.
This is just between you and me, yes?
CX