I have such a fondness for my little tortoise here.

He reflects so simply the dance I do for much of my life.

I have such a pull to be in the world; to share my ideas, to reach out to others, to cheer from the rooftops all the things that I love so much.

I have an equal pull to be in my shell, to be quiet, to be alone, to have time to think away from things, to disconnect myself from all that is going on around me.

I call these inner conflicts dances.

To think of them as a dance eliminates the idea that one is right and the other wrong.

It takes away the need to pick a side and it halts the inner conflict of judging ourselves, thinking we need to change a whole.

Our ways are never one way.

Our ways cannot be a right way or therefore a wrong - they just are.

Our ways are movement and flow between many different layers and ideas, as we dance our way through. Each informs the other – they co-exist even though they seem polls apart – each needs the other.

We stumble, we glide, but we move to the rhythm. It’s a graceful dance, a crazy dance, a mesmerizing dance and a “what the hell is she doing?”. It is all just movement, it is how we move through life and it is a lot more fun if we can embrace it all.

I struggle with this and writing this out is helping me.

I compare myself too much to too many people. I should be out more, I should be doing more, and look at all they are doing, look at how well they do it.

This has the counter affect of making my dance one sided – as I recluse myself for longer than I need.

IF I can treat these two ways of being, lighter – I can balance between the two more effortlessly. I can honour both sides and enjoy both sides of myself.

Wouldn’t that be a nice way to be? To enjoy all sides of yourself rather than the conflicting feeling you should be doing things differently all the time. Wow – what could come for us from allowing that? What would that look like?

May I have this dance?